I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
-Three Days Grace
----------
Dear YOU(asshole),

Here's my heart:

Rain. The cold, crystalline drops pattering on my window sill...and unfortunately I'm still thinking about you. Again. It's been two days since we came to an end. Two days since I wanted in on you...and him. And I still don't know how I feel about this.

I want to be angry. To yell...to throw things...to scream...I want to cry. Let the tears wash this pain again...wash every thought of you away...wash your existence from my life.

I smile, sometimes, and laugh at the jokes everybody else is laughing at. I put on a mask for the happy couples my friends make because they can't help me...can't possibly understand. They wouldn't want to..anyway...but they ask...They ones who can see through this facade.

My mind, my morals, my essence screams at me not to let you take my soul away. Not to let this be the thing to make me fall. But my heart needs more time...it's so slow to heal these days...

If I wasn't what you wanted...what you had in mind, you should have told me. You should have let me go. Things would be cool between us...Toph wouldn't be cursing the ground that you walked on...Aron would still be talking to you...and I...I wouldn't be wondering where it all went wrong...

Because figuring out that I'm not good enough for you is something I can't explain....I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

How come I'm always picking up pieces of myself when you leave? Every. Single. Time.

How come it's always you I think of when people warn me about "the kind of guys you should stay away from"? The ones who only have to smile for you to give in. To everything.

How come I'm always the one you come back to when you get your heart broken? The one who is always putting you back together.

How come this happened?

Why. Don't. I. Hate. You?

You'll never know this. Because I'll never tell you. Because I never want to see you again. Because I'm afraid of letting you back in. _{Because I still love you}
--------

Here's my mind:

I sound like one of those girls who can't let go of the guy who was cheating on them with his roommate...oh wait...I am one of those girls. Thanks for the heads up...ah, no...I don't think there was one...UNLESS YOU COUNT ME WALKING IN ON YOU MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE as a heads up.

You know what? Toph is right, you are an asshole. But I forgive you. Astonishing, right? After all the shit you put me through these past few years....I should be happy. I'm not now, but a few years down the road I will be.

Note to self: Get the fuck over it. He doesn't want you. He never did.

Blunt. Harsh. Needed. End of two-day depression and thoughts of another lost love. Whatever, babe. I loved and I lost. I hope you're happy. I wish you a good life. And a long lasting relationship with your roommate. Really.

(un)Sincere,
Moriah

Here's what I'm going to do:

PS: If you left shit here, I was nice enough to give it to Aron. But I can't say if he'll be nice enough to give it back to you. I heard that he found somewhere else to stay while attending NYU. Don't worry I'm still showing up for the deal in June, why punish everyone else for what you did? They might even want to hear a story. Starring you.